Now that I’ve turned the ripe old age of 29 (gasp!) it seems that people are forever asking me when we’re going to start having children. I suppose it makes sense; I’m married, I have a job, I own my own home and Art is gettin' up in years- it’s time, right? Let me tell you now- the answer is 'never'.
I have a reputation for hating children, but that’s not entirely accurate. I dislike ill-behaved, loud, whiny children- the ones running around unsupervised in grocery stores or screaming in the restaurants (and generally that’s the parent’s fault, not the kids’). There are actually some kids I do like and, amazingly enough, I’m pretty good with them. I enjoy them, and then I go home. I do, however, believe that they breed and spread disease so I tend to keep my distance, especially in the winter.
I’m at a stage in my life where many of my friends are starting to have kids. I think it’s wonderful, but it’s just not for me. It doesn’t bother me when people ask me when I’m going to start popping out some kids. What bothers me is when I tell them there won’t be any kids, and I see their expressions shift to looks of confusion and horror- why would a married woman with childbearing hips not want to have children? They have no idea what to say to me and wonder if I’m some subversive Nazi feminist bent on destroying the norms of society and the family dynamic. People (the 'zealots' is what I call them) have tried to argue with me about how I am still young, I'm going to change my mind, and how having children is a gift, etc. All I can say to them is that I have never told anyone that they shouldn’t have children and I don’t think people can tell me that I should.
Did you know that I asked Art on our first date if he ever wanted kids? I know it seems a little forward, discussing your future on the first date, but I have never wanted children of my own and I wasn’t about to continue dating someone who wanted 12 of them. Thankfully, Art felt the same way I did, only added, “kids are really expensive”- which pretty much sums up Art. If we did have a kid, it would most likely grow up to be a model, considering how tall Art is and how beautiful I am. Add to the fact that it probably wouldn't be fed until we eat, so meals would be quite late (although this would benefit the skinniness needed to be a model). All in all, we're too selfish for children and that's why dogs are a perfect alternative. Buddy never pees in the house, he's quiet, he never misbehaves and he is always happy to see me. He's also pretty self-sufficient, which is something an infant is not.
So please, just because I don’t have kids, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about yours and it certainly doesn't mean that I am no longer worth talking to because, as someone once told me, "I have no understanding of these things". Bring on your baby pictures, your stories, and let me hold your kids! I might even babysit (when it's no longer cold and flu season, of course) once in a very blue moon!
2 comments:
I don't think it is selfish not to have children, in fact, when you look at it on based on environmental impact,it is way less selfish to NOT have kids. And dogs are really really nice. Mike and I discussed it before we decided to have a baby, and concluded that if for some reason we couldn't have children, we'd have many more dogs.
Plus, if you did have kids those people would find something else to be appalled at...I promise.
I too think that choosing to have kids is so personal and totally fine. In fact it takes a strong couple that knows each other to make that decision and not fall into what the world thinks you should do. We get flack for not having more kids...Allison is right, someone will always have a problem with whatever means of procreation you have chosen.
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