Cats + Bats = Chaos

The porch kitties (not to be confused with 'barn kitty') have gotten extremely bold. As I was making dinner last night, they waltzed through the dog door and up the stairs into the kitchen. I immediately shooed them back out so the dogs wouldn't realize they were inside and start brawling. I went back to my dinner prep and, again, the kitties waltzed up the stairs. I tried to shoo them out again, but instead they just went to basement and started exploring. I didn't have the energy to really care, so I just shut the door and figured they could find their way back outside eventually. I finished making dinner and as I took my plate into the dining room, a bat flew past my head, causing me to almost lose my plate. I immediately called Art (who was working late) and told him there was a bat in the house and that I almost died and I needed him to come home and take care of it. He told me that he was working and couldn't come right home but he would take care of it when he got home (which would be late, and I knew once he got home he would just go to bed and not get rid of the bat) Turns out Art left the attic door open- he's done this before and we've had several bats because of it. The rest of the evening I walked around my house in a crouch (somehow that would keep bats out of my hair) and carefully turning on lights in the event a bat would fly at my head. I made it up to bed and then realized the basement door was still closed, meaning the dogs weren't able to go outside to do their thing. I crept out of bed and down the stairs. I made it to the landing when the bat, out of nowhere, came within two feet of my face before doing some sort of back flip and reversing. At the same time, I threw myself on the ground, doing a face plant on the stairs (all the while screaming like a girl). At that point I said, 'screw the dogs', and belly-crawled back up the stairs and into my room, firmly closing the door behind me. It's a good story to tell, but I'm glad no one was there to actually witness such cowardice.
Art came home a little after 11:00 and what did he do? He took a shower and went to bed. We'll just have to deal with the bat tonight. The last time we had to get a bat out, Art held up a towel and screamed like a little girl, so tonight should be a lot of fun.